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I'm having a great week, so far. I've got time off. The shopping was done during daylight hours when we needed food. That has its pro's and con's. The pro's were that I could just sit there, or go out somewhere in the evening. I didn't have to unload the car in the dark, always dangerous as I might not notice that bag of oranges until they start to announce their presence through stinking out the car. I can park so easily, even in the Mother and Baby bays. There are more checkouts open. Thats where the con's start though. During the day it's really busy. Their are children riding aroung the aisles in killer cars. Whats with that? Who would want to try and negotiate round a crowded supermarket with a toddler wanting to run everyone over? Perhaps if it were me and my 4 year old I would think it was brilliant, but as a middle aged customer who has found that you bruise more easily when older, and it takes longer to stop hurting, I think it's time that joyriders invaded the store and liberated the manic, plastic buggies. Also, there are retired couples. The man always pushes the trolley, while his partner in crime debates, loudly, about his faults and the produce on offer. Incidentally, why have they not brought out a manouvering test for persons in charge of a trolley? On reflection, I shall continue shopping at night.
I've been gardening. Good time to ponder on things. Dig out that aggression, prune those anxieties, nuture my inner self! Oh please, I've gone all new age. Truly though, I do enjoy gardening, and possibly for the above reasons, but the main reason is - if I'm out in the garden I can't be doing housework.
Wednesday was a real uplift. I had lunch with some ex-colleagues with their babies. I has delivered all their babies, 7 of them from 5 down to 6 months. Seeing all these little ones and knowing that I had cared for them before and during birth made me love my job again. Sometimes I need little episodes like this to put my world into perspective and carry me through the next moving of goalposts.
Expectant one is 30 weeks plus, and due an antenatal, and bloods. This is a problem. She has a thing about needles, specifically those entering veins (not too keen on spines either). First bloods OK. She had a nuchal scan where they were taking blood so I slipped them the bottles, grabbed her hand, and it was done. I did end with a lacerated finger from her squeezing my hand so tightly that my ring garroted its way through the flesh, but at least the deed was done. Dilemma, this is not a single person job. Asked her sister to lend a hand, negative reply, phobic about blood. Asked her partner, busy. Asked her Dad, reply not repeatable. Phoned up midwife that daughter has chosen to be at the delivery. Brave woman leapt at the request. For me it was lovely. The chance to be a Mum. Someone else giving her advise, listening to her grumbles, not many really, heartburn and a sore coccyx, and hearing what words of wisdom they would impart (luckily the same as I had been saying). Seeing someone else feeling the outline of my grandchild, listening to his/her heart. Watching someone else attempt to convince her that she should expose her arm. In the end it took two of us, but it was successful and the bruising, hers, is not too extensive, we told her not to move. We also discussed the birth. Water or dry land? Labour in water, deliver kneeling on the sofa, resting against the back. Pain relief, gas and air, pethidine if necessary. Third stage? Au naturelle, unless it goes on for longer than 20 minutes in which case the jab 'cos she wants to get on with bonding. Please, please let it happen like this. I think our chats over the next few weeks will have to incorporate a few 'what if's' otherwise there could be huge disappointment all round.
Heartburn - eat little and often. Avoid rich, spicy, or stodgy foods. Don't eat a meal within two hours of expected bedtime. When you eat sit as upright as possible, try to avoid eating off your lap/tray. Take Gaviscon.
Sore coccyx - watch your posture. Sit upright not slumped. 
Sit on a birthing/exercise ball.
Lesson learned?
Update on arm - nasty, large, raised bruise. Reported as 'really sore'.
Meeting with manager today, unloaded. Positive outcome - I think. Managers are really clever though. Always feel that things have gone my way but a month down the line I find nothing changed, but at least I feel better. Hot news is that the trust might be opening a birth unit, please let me help set it up.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave......
Yesterday was only sons birthday. His partner decided on a surprise party for him on Saturday. Ubfortunately she hit upon her plan a week ago so not too long to co-ordinate. Us oldies were asked to provide the distraction and keep him away from their place until 7.30. Get him to come round after football the innocent said. Now, she has known us for 4 years now. I'm a weird old thing but birthdays are important to me and all my offspring know this, and expect it. Usually there is a summoning, all members must attend to recognise the victims birthday en-masse. So, when I contact son and tell him everyone is busy on his birthday so can he come round the following day, following a football match 80 miles away he was questioning, why? What were we all doing that was more important than his birthday? The deceits came pouring out. Amongst them was that I was on-call so didn't know where I'd be, lie. I'm off this week. Said son was very irked, I think he felt unloved. He agreed though. Doing a bit of retail therapy, mobile rings, local Birth Centre, would I be on-call for them that night? Jump at the chance, well not quite jump but....to cut a long story short, called out at 1am, return home at 8.30. There is a moral here, never lie, it might just happen. It gets bad. Phoned son this morning to check he is coming round later. He sounded really weird. Maternal guilt floods in ( yes, the guilt follows you always) 'whats up, we'll see you later. How was your birthday?' Yesterday he was in middle of interviewing someone when he heard odd noises from the next room. Went in to invertigate and found applicant slumped and having difficulty breathing. Did all the right things, got him on the floor, checked airway, felt for pulse, pulse there, called 999,was kneeling supporting this guy when his pulse went. Paramedics arrived. Poor man died, with strangers, on an office floor. On his birthday my poor boy held a man whilst he died. And cos his Mum had lied to him he didn't do what he wanted to, come round and talk to her.
Now all I can think of is that poor man and his family. I hope they are surrounded by loved ones, as I will be tonight, where we will raise a glass and remember them.
Psychology
Whilst wonderful husband (he had just cooked dinner and insisted on doing the washing-up as well), was on the phone being updated on how his Mum was, she has an alzheimers type condition, I took control of the television and starting at 1 went surfing. Being a novice in having unsupervised control I was cautious and only got as far as 4. Brat Camp. Now, having had three off-spring go through teenage times I often pride them, and us, on being survivors. I now know how lucky we all were. Yes, we had the binge-drinking, but never hospital admissions, only mistaking drawers for urinals! Two of them, and I, have fiery tempers, which had resulted in door-slamming, plate, complete with dinner, throwing. Secret piercing, I noticed the multiple earrings but I do have to admit months passed before I saw the belly-bars, and 1 tattoo. There were times when the pupils of their eyes seemed to take over their whole faces but surreptitious inspection for needle marks and the absense of red, sniffy noses cheered me. It didn't stop me worrying about glue-sniffing, fights and the multitude of other tempations out there. Outwardly though I mainained a relaxed visage. Neighbours must never know that my 'rebels' troubled me. Then, I saw last nights Channel 4 offering and I felt so happy that really, my children were little angels in comparison, that I sent each one a text message telling them I loved them. Unfortunately, 15 minutes before the end of the programme, husband re-entered the room and announced TV Greatest Blunders was on and the channel change happened. Then the phone started ringing. My little darlings were phoning to ask was I all right? What's happened? Is it so strange to tell your children that you love them? When they were being 'difficult' I was heard to say, fairly regularly, 'I don't like you, but I do love you.' Retrospectively I can admit I was wrong and now say 'Thankyou for being you.' Brat Camp is a series, I shall take to my bed next week and watch it there. I wouldn't have wanted my kids to be perfect, to not have their own opinions, to conform totally, but perhaps if Brat Camp had been around then I would have rejoiced more about their personalities.
Has anyone yet found out why men automatically take control of the remote? In our house it doesn't cause a direct arguement if I wrest it from his thumb twitching little mitts, but it is impossible to then watch anything 'cos he is capable of turning reading the paper into something that produces enough decibels to warrant calling out environmental health.
Hubby went off today with Son, Son-in-law (not the pregnant one) and several other golfers on their much anticipated bi-annual trip to . . . Lincoln. There they will indulge in numerous rounds of golf, loads of male silliness, and presentations of trophies of a dubious nature, amongst them this 
wooden spoon, created over two weeks by husband. It was sprayed, varnished, lettered and lacquered lovingly. This act of creativeness was carried out in here - my dining room! 
Yes,you're right, there is no dining table, only c***! No bother, its only been like this since we moved in, in 1991. Since then we have only hosted three 18th birthday parties, two 21st birthday parties, one 40th and one 50th birthday celebration and one 25th wedding anniversary. Not forgetting numerous children's parties. C'est la vie!
Embarrassed - me?
I've just gone back to home page and seen the part about Mini-Minks... and me. I wish I had seen it before I displayed the disgrace that is my dining-room to anyone who logs on. Really I made an error when loading the file, it is actually one of the labour rooms at the local maternity unit. JoJo thought hers was bad!
Anyway, I may not be a midwife much longer. I have been summoned to see the Head of Midwifery. My crime? Daring to be my daughter's midwife. Now, it might be foolhardy, I may be cruisin' for a bruisin' but am I breaking any written rules? No. Do I want to deliver my Grandchild? No. (Daughter wants me to but I declined, I will just be there as support and to assist if needed.) All I am doing is caring for her during and after her pregnancy. According to the H of M I am always causing them problems by delivering friends and colleagues babies. I would have thought it was a help. I do it in my own time leaving another midwife free to do other things. Also, I know this sounds a bit like trumpet blowing, but if other midwives ask me to deliver their babies I must be doing something right, they must rate me as a midwife. I feel so mad about this that if she pushes me too far I might just lose it and say something I may later regret, like, I resign.
Hubby just 'phoned. It hasn't snowed in Lincoln. At least he's happy.
Babies names this week
I shall try and do this every weekend. It might help those who want ideas or have an interest in what's in and how used a name is. Obviously this will just be those babies I encounter locally. Is there a way I can put a little box on my homepage and just update it?
Caitlin Ellie Polly Jessica Briony
Dominic Nathan Luke George Ruben Thomas Jack