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Booked one of my women for her homebirth, and she has been attending hypnobirth sessions. Her previous birth was in London, and it was twins so her experience was ultra 'controlled' and obstetric, she has difficulty understanding why, I, and I suspect countless others have tried to explain why, but she still has issues with the experience. So, this time she is going as low-tech as possible. During our homebirth preparation chat she gave me the 'crib sheet' we are to use during her labour and the birth. It all seems straightforward, quite Ina May Gaskin and Spiritual Midwifery, but I suspect that at the time it is going to be quite difficult to remember what phrases and words we are supposed to avoid, and which ones we should use as substitutes. That's the whole thing with midwifery, essentially it is considered a 'clinical' expertise, and as such there are words and phrases that are accepted and used constantly. An easy example is 'delivered the baby', everyone uses it. From the time you are a student and have to record all your 'deliveries', to all the notekeeping and computer entries you have to make as a midwife, birth is referred to as 'delivery'. When you think about it the whole concept is wrong, a delivery is something that is bought to you, done for you, birth is about a woman bringing a new life into the world, ideally by her own efforts. It's going to take a huge effort for those attending this lady to rephrase their comments, but it may, hopefully also make us rethink our attitudes. The thing that troubles me is that during our chat I was not permitted to talk about anything negative. From the hypnobirth aspect I can appreciate the rationale, but as a midwife preparing a couple for a homebirth I found it rather worrying. I felt that I was not able to cover aspects that I would like to, e.g transfer into hospital for any reason not just an emergency. Eventually her Husband came into the hall to discuss contingency plans but I still felt that this was leaving his wife unprepared. Oh well. It's their choice, and I'm sure it will all be fine. They are a lovely couple and it will be a joy to accompany them through the birth of their baby, I just hope I don't let them down by saying something wrong.
Huge co-incidence today. I 'won' a double buggy on E-Bay. Phoned up the lady to arrange collection, and discovered that it was one of my patients, at least I didn't get lost going to collect it!
I finally won my double buggy, my second! Last year I 'won' a Graco side-by-side, lovely condition, complete with raincover (important) and changing bag (not important). Think it was £28, good price. Jack's Mummy has it in her possession because she cares for a friend's toddler occassionally. Anyway, because I shall be looking after both Jack and Amy after Christmas, when other daughter also returns to work, I needed one as well. I decided on telescopically folding, takes up less room, will fit in my small car without having to rearrange the boot, and will store better in the house. Got just what I wanted, really good condition, rain cover, sunshades, cosytoes, baskets, head-huggers and all for £32. Folds easily, unfolds easily, but it's a b****r to manoeuvre, even when I lock the swivvel wheels it's a dangerous wide-load. Also the handles are too far apart, the Graco has one handle the width of the chair, much more comfortable. When my eldest two were little I had a tandem pushchair, I don't remember it being too difficult to handle, but I was talked out of a tandem for the Grandchildren cos it's 'not fair on the one at the back'. Shouldn't have listened, should have bought an in-line, infant, transportation vehicle.
So, does anyone want a really lovely looking double buggy? It looks new, is very comfortable, and you can safely leave a baby outside, in driving rain and they will stay completely dry. Just don't venture out and expect to negotiate kerbs or narrow aisles in shops without damage to your shoulders, or the displays.
The kittens are a problem. That's a bit unfair really, they are just taking advantage of the fact they can get behind, and underneath the sink base unit. Last night I tempted them out with fresh, flaked salmon, they couldn't resist it, Jack wasn't around, and I had banished Hubby to the pub (he had chosen to go to the pub). Immediately I sprang into action, they don't like unfamiliar things and noises so tin-foil should be an excellent deterrent. I blocked their port of entry to the space under the cupboard with tin-foil and place sliced lemon in front of it, someone had told me cats don't like lemon. Success, they stayed out, they even played with the numerous cat toys that are now dotted around the room. I went to bed a happy woman. As usual I was wandering in the night and I tiptoed into the kitchen, yes, there they were, sleeping happily on the chair cushions. Huge disappointment this morning, hole in tin-foil, lemon slices in-situ, kittens under cupboard. I'm off now to tour the DIY shops to try and find something I can adapt to use as a barricade, then I have a meeting at work, apparently it is 'top-priority'. It better be, this is my week off.
The errant kitten saga
They can no longer get under the sink. As Hubby finished erecting a solid wood barricade he commented that "If they get through now they have either got a screwdriver, or we better leave home because they are Raptors in disguise." I bought them an igloo, two-tier cat basket on Friday, complete with sheepskin mattresses on Friday, they prefer the cardboard box with an old cushion and blanket. I am making slow progress though. Now, when I feed them, they will come up to their bowls whilst I am there, and will even let me stroke them. They are terrible scavengers, we got home last night and half a loaf of bread was on the floor with huge chunks ripped out of it. It's sad really so even Hubby doesn't get annoyed, they have spent their whole lives, until now, eating anything they can forage or their Mum bought to them. When I collected them from the CPL I stupidly asked if they were having kitten food, what an innocent, the total rubbish they must have eaten previously must have made their gut ready for anything, infact the unvaried, protein rich diet they are now being served is possibly more likely to upset their digestive systems.
Interesting Bonfire Party at friends house last night. Some weird pschotherapist (psycho) female was there being very touchy feely with the men and being exceptionally rude to all the women, perhaps she was conducting some type of field experiment, 'How long before a woman smacks me one?'. Her results were skewed though when Daughter fronted up to her because she was pawing Hubby (my Hubby, her Daddy). Apparently the confrontation became quite angry with pscho-babe asking who daughter thought she was and when daughter explained the relationship the woman's response was to ask if I was there. Cheeky mare.
Today I came the closest ever to just throwing in the towel. Luckily I just clenched my teeth and exited my managers office. Mind you it was a different story when I reached our office, things were thrown, expletives were growled and my total, utter frustration with 'government directives' was voiced. My poor student was shocked at the transformation that was happening before her eyes, the Incredible Hulk had nothing on me, her antidote to the caustic effect a 'chat with the manager' could have on a normally fairly jovial midwife, was to make me a cup of coffee, it worked, until this evening. I'm just ranting here to vent my angst, if people give up reading I understand perfectly.
The day started badly, road works outside the hospital meant that the last mile and a half to work took half an hour. I was still fairly composed though, it was the same for everyone. I listened to my messages, the usual 3 from my 'needy' lady, and one from an ex-patient who had gone to the States but has now returned, pregnant, and was asking how I could be her midwife again. My chest swelled with pride, and my head grew 6 inches, I looked like a pigeon. Then I checked the off-duty, just about to put it down when I noticed I had been put as first on-call the day before my day off. If being on-call were just from 8am until 5pm that would be perfectly acceptable, but it doesn't. On-call is from 8am one day, until 8am the following morning. They've done this before and I have expressed my displeasure, asked that in future they check with me that this is okay, but this time it's impossible, I'm working for another hospital at their Birth Unit on my day off, from 7.30am. In I went to my manager and pointed out the error, she turned into a brick wall, a brick wall with electrified fencing on top of it, and I suspect mines placed at the base. She was having none of it, they need to cover the on-call and I'm the sacrificial lamb. I tentatively banged my head against the brick wall that had suddenly sprung up before me, murmured about days off, can't expect me to be available when I am not supposed to be working, but her resolution was firm. I am thinking grievance. I am also thinking a lot of other things but they are silly and definitely illegal.
That's the anger unloaded. Now comes what makes me want to give it all up. Government directives, as a community midwife nearly everything I do is now decided by these endless pieces of paper from faceless bureaucrats. Update this way of asking a question, fill in this form, audit that activity, etc. Today came the straw that broke the camels back, or in my case the edict that made me question my vocation, really trivial, but that's what the straw is all about. Active Birth Classes. They are my baby, something that for 2 hours, bi-monthly refreshes my belief in Midwifery. I've got to stop them. The Government wants me to facilitate breast-feeding workshops instead. If my women didn't breast-feed I would have more sympathy with the divertion of my attentions, but I have a 90% breast-feeding rate when I discharge my Mums to the Health Visitor. However, the hospital had a 22%+ section rate before I started Active Birth Classes, that's now down to 20%. I can't, or won't take all the credit, but certainly the classes have played a part in the reduction. It's not a Government Initiative (extra funding) though, so bye-bye to my initiative.
There. that's it. If anyone knows of a job where my C.V as a midwife would come in handy then please let me know. Nice little job working for one of the baby milk companies is being advertised at the moment, it could be a sweet revenge doing that and encouraging women to bottle-feed.
In common with 50% of the population Jack had this throaty, raised temperature bug yesterday, and he was adorable. His Mummy had warned me that he might be clingy, and he was, but I felt so needed. Grandad wasn't what was wanted, no leaping out from behind furniture, no turning upside down. No, what Jack wanted was a soft, warm Nanny to snuggle in to, who was quite happy to nuzzle his hair and whisper stories about everyday life. It was so lovely to have a quiet time with him. At bedtime I made the suggestion that Blue Bear was in his cot, and off he toddled, stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited, with arms out-stretched, for me to carry him up to bed. In his cot he sat, waited for his kiss and then curled up, cuddling Blue Bear, and went to sleep.........for 12 hours. Yes, I wasn't woken until after 8am. Being a Nanny is the best.
Saw something very clever toady. Just approaching a pedestrian crossing in the town when I noticed a tabby cat walking along the pavement towards the road. The lights changed, we stopped and the cat sauntered across the road. Clever little feline.
Update on my tantrum. Active Birth Classes are to continue, but I still have to do the Breastfeeding Classes. No extra time allowed, but at least I still get to bounce around on my exercise ball whilst encouraging the use of aromatherapy and other under-the-counter therapies.
Sigh of relief
As people may have gleaned, I buy off E-Bay. Wonderful site, never any problems, until Monday. On Sunday I had 'won' a highchair for Amy's Mummy, nothing special, it's appeal being that it folds completely flat and so it will suit their diminutive house. Being the prompt payer that I am the transaction was complete within 10 minutes of the sale, paypal sent me the confirmation, as did the seller. Monday morning, checked my E-Mails, one from E-Bay telling me that the item had been withdrawn, by them, and so not to pay for it. S**t. I immediately e-mailed them with a response expected in 24-48hours. I also e-mailed the seller, hoping for some enlightenment. A tense 24 hours followed. I scoured paypals pages on disputes, I am obviously really thick because I ended I none the wiser about what might happen, and E-Bay had completely vanished the original listing so I couldn't check verification thingies. Tuesday, E-Bay sympathise with the situation, wait and see and then click on these links if the item doesn't appear. I e-mail seller who replies that he hopes to ship the highchair tomorrow. I was a secretive woman, who could I reveal my plight to? Hubby would just raise an eyebrow and chunter on about knew it happen, shouldn't trust computers etc. Wednesday morning, e-mail from seller to say that he had just shipped item. By then my confidence in this transaction had hit rock bottom. Two hours later, front door bell rings, and..........it's the highchair, as described.
What have I learnt? Do not pay immediately. In future I shall leave it 36 hours before my money goes zooming down the line. Whose at fault? I would say E-Bay. They let the auction take place, the bidding close, informed me I had won, sent an invoice and then 18 hours later tell me they have withdrawn it. I feel sorry for the seller, I can't leave feedback for him about what was a fast, honest transaction.