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I'm blogging feeling really fed-up. Two reasons, one, my Father, two, JoJo leaving.
My Father is fine, he hasn't shuffled off this mortal coil, he's just being him. I should be used to it, immune, by now, but he always manages to make me angry and sad at the same time. I'm sure he has some type of personality disorder, or he just hates me, and quite a few other people. Most of my life has been spent with him not speaking to me for one reason or another, often though I don't know why, it just happens. We are just communicating again after a 9 year silence, and he only got in touch again this time round cos he was having open heart surgery. He didn't speak to his Mother for 7 years, and she died before he got round to opening up the lines of communication, I think he was afraid this would happen with us. Anyway, I had invited him round for Boxing Day, Hubby said he would cry off, and he was right. Father phoned up tonight and said he wasn't up to it, he had been to my Sisters on Sunday for Christmas lunch (she is away over the Yuletide) and he hadn't felt right since. He didn't invite me over to his, he just did his usual 'poor me'. I think he wants me to drop everything and rush up to him, control is what it's all about, always has been. When I was thirty, married, with three children he said to me, in all seriousness, ' I don't care how old you are, three or thirty, you will do as I say.' I laughed, he didn't, and the battlelines have been drawn since then. I shall now spend the Festive Season worrying about how I should respond, give in, or do what he has always done to me, turn my back.
Turning back the clock
Christmas was just the old days. Hubby and I stayed in with the children, whilst everyone else went out. How we suffered, cuddles, kisses, bathtime games, I don't know how we coped. The errant parents arrived home, with one daughter conspicuously sober. Christmas morning saw us all indulging in Champagne and Smoked Salmon, except for same daughter, my lips are sealed!
I've been working since Christmas, very busy, lots of Christmas babes. One of my homebirth Mums gave birth to her third baby Christmas morning, very quick, midwife didn't get there in time. They don't mind, baby girl was born infront of the Christmas tree with the open fire crackling away, what a wonderful memory for them. My needy lady has been back in to hospital 3 times, that now makes 33 admissions. I contacted Social Services, who don't want to know until, and I quote ' something happens'. Looks like my sleepless nights are set to continue.
Tonight we are babysitting, again. I don't mind though because I'm working New Years Day so an early night, well sort of, is a good idea.
The kittens were virtually invisible whilst everyone was staying, but they've made up for it since. The Christmas tree is losing more and more decorations by the hour. I've had to take down the wall decorations as they leap up trying to get them and I fear for my newly wallpapered walls. All the toys they had disappear under the fridge so it is a daily task,using a long stick, retrieving them. Flo now knows what the ritual is all about, so when I appear with the stick she goes and sits next to the fridge waiting for her toys to reappear.
Waiting for someone to let us know how things are with Minks and Co.
Happy New Year to everyone.
