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Overwhelmed
"Hot. Damned hot." I think that comes from 'Good Morning Vietnam', incidentally a film I loved, especially the soundtrack. Anyway, it was so hot today, driving for 10 minutes then stopping for 30, that my car was doing a marvellous impression of an oven, allowing me to refine my impersonation of a melting waxwork. The highlight of my day was when I parked on a recently resurfaced road. When I came to drive off I thought for a moment that my handbrake was still on, but then off I went and all appeared well, although there was a strange odour in the car which I thought was burnt handbrake. Car functioned perfectly until I had to brake hard, at which point the most appalling squealing came from the rear brakes and grey smoke poured from the rear wheels. My first thought was that I must have a flat tyre, a fear of mine working a rural patch, so I pulled over at the first opportunity. No, all tyres present, correct and inflated. A sympathetic lorry driver pulled over and asked if all was OK, he had witnessed my 'boy racer' display. After a quick examination of my cars hidden bits he announced his verdict, 'Tar'. Wheels had got melted tar on them which when I braked had caused the problem. Didn't repeat so I shall accept his verdict.
Today was the first day of our 'lets abandon women and their babies so we can save money' campaign. I was upset about this before, now I feel really depressed and embarrassed. Yes, embarrassed. I feel I'm letting new Mums down, and I hate it. I'm sure this is going to cause problems, they need support and reassurance. We are encouraging them to leave hospital early. At least before there was a structure in place to hopefully pick up on problems before they became serious, now there is lip service paid to the requirement of midwives to ensure the welfare of Mothers and Babies. Hence my depression.
So, I've come up with an alternative to working within the NHS. Offer antenatal and postnatal services privately, including all the parentcraft classes etc. I can't/won't go the whole hog and offer the homebirth as well because Independant Midwives can't get insurance and that would be a leap too far for me. Any suggestions on this one? Would it be popular? How much should I charge?
Alternatively, is there anyone out there who can take up the cause? Because care after the birth is not as dramatic as the birth itself this cutting back is never going to become an issue. Come on any journalists out there, take up the baton and run with it.
Independance Day
I had a special day, viva the 4th of July. It started well as in the early hours of the morning had a lovely homebirth, even though some people think these should be banned. It was Mum's second baby and she had decided that home was the place to bring number two into the world. Labour was 6 hours, accompanied for the last two hours with that old favourite gas and air. With some hard work baby's head appeared and, whilst waiting for the rest of the body to follow, it started crying. Mum commented that this was pretty surreal, she could hear a baby crying but knew that it wasn't born yet. Once baby had been born we passed Joseph to his Mum and they curled up happily on the sofa together, whilst we tidied up the soggy inco pads, the result of her waters breaking in a rather spectacular manner. When we had checked that all was well she went off and had a bath whilst Dad got to know his new son. Us midwives were also pretty soggy by this stage, the temperature was tropical as we had switched off the fan and closed the windows so that baby didn't get chilled, so we took this opportunity to go out into the garden to cool off. We were disturbed from our revelry by laughter, and turned to see the parents standing by the french doors watching us cavort, it was at 2am. I told them it was a mystical ritual practiced by midwives to rejoice the entry into the world of a new life. I hope their laughter was because they knew I was joking.
9am saw me back at work doing my clinic, luckily only 6 women, lack of sleep and the hot weather was starting to tell. Three home visits, and clearing my paperwork saw me finish work at 3.30pm, wonderful, I could go and see Amy and her Mummy who had just got back from their holiday. They change so much, so quickly. Amy is now really toddling, that lovely stage where they sway along, straight legged with their arms up either side, keeping their balance. Her reaction was the best though. They were just returning from walking to the shops when they saw me coming towards them, Amy frowned then strained forward in her pushchair, huge smile on her face, held her arms out and shouted 'Nan Nan', I was so happy I just wanted to squeeze her. The absolute joy my grandchildren bring to me is inexplicable, I haven't got the words to express it, I am so lucky.
Then the weather broke. Huge hailstones rattled down, lightening split the sky and thunder echoed around the hills. The perfect end to the perfect day. All the more perfect because I now have 2 weeks off work.
Last night Jacks Mummy worked the nightshift so I had Jack for a few hours today so she could have some sleep. (Fingers crossed, all is looking hopeful on the pregnancy front, scan in 2 weeks). We went up to the library, he has inherited his Mummy's love of books, and found some story books about tractors, Having been so good Jack and Nanny were very naughty, we bought some chocolate buttons and ate more than our scheduled 2 each, in fact quite a large number were gone by the time we arrived home, soaked. Well, it started raining, a down pour, but it felt good, so instead of covering up and hurrying home we took our time, stomping in every puddle, and shaking every bush. It's weird how not having to work for a while has such a liberating effect on me. Heaven knows what will happen when I retire.
Ancients
What happened to the 'i before e, except after c'? What's the point of having a rule, especially one with a special rule built in, if it's not always true?
This weekend Hubby and I decamped down to MIL's bungalow to empty it prior to completion. MIL has been in a nursing home for 18 months now and it has taken that long to sell her home, we were just starting to become really concerned as the monies are running out and the fees are £2,500 per month. Having sat on the M25 for 1 hour, and then still having another 1 hours journey I was looking forward to getting there to use the amenities. When we arrived I leapt out of the van urging Hubby to unlock the front door PDQ and switch the alarm off. I skidded to an abrupt halt when I saw a loo cistern lying behind a shrub. A weekend of torment flashed before me. Only one loo would be bad enough, but my sister and brother-in-law being there as well would be intolerable. My SIL conducts a bi-daily ritual in the bathroom. I have no idea what she can be up to in there. I've asked her, as I feel I must be leaving out some vital part of my ablutions, but even allowing for the fact that she is larger than me, and therefore has a larger skin area, I can't account for the time she spends in the bathroom. At this point I could be really bitchy and make comments about how what ever she does hasn't worked, but I won't, even if it's true. Back to the bungalow, rushed in, key to the alarm at the ready, no telltale beeping, its not on. Look in the bathroom, heated towel rail disconnected from pipework, cistern gone. Thank heavens the other loo is still all present and correct. Piles of bricks and breezeblocks down the side of the house blocking access to the back door, and every radiator disconnected.
The bungalow was filthy, smelly and filthy. We got started, loft first, then kitchen. 3 trips down to the dump with a transit, and one to the charity shop saw us heading home on Sunday with a van full of clutter. SIL had not broken with tradition, even when she knew we had time contraints. I have to congratulate her though, in a room approximately 5ft long and 3ft wide, containing the smallest basin I have ever seen, and the only loo, she and her radio made the best of a bad situation.
Beware - Nasty bit of deceit
WorldPay - An E-Mail arrived today, with an attatchment, supposedly from this company. I read it, worried, pondered, worried some more, then phoned my credit card company. After answering lots of questions, having first been warned by the customer services guy not to answer any question if I wasn't sure of the correct answer, he was able to assure me that no monies corresponding to the amounts mentioned in the E-Mail had been debited on my card. Just ignore it, but do not open the attatchment. I have to admit that the temptation was huge, but the thought of the financial consequences stopped me. Not being someone to take everything as gospel I did a Google search - WorldPay+spam. Bingo, first result was a virtually indentical example of the E-Mail sent to me, it has now been deleted. If you receive one please do the same. Sender is a Dave Gollick.
At last, Doctors will be checked. It has always amazed me that they don't have some formal set-up whereby they know, their employers know, and more importantly the public know that they are safe, up to date practitioners. Midwives have a supervisory body who are there for that purpose and every year we are subjected to an 'interview' where we have to produce evidence of continuing study, use notes to prove record keeping, and are generally assessed for our 'fitness to practice'.
More questions than answers
What is this? Yes, I know it's a caterpillar, but what moth/butterfly is it going to become? Sid has been cruising around the walls of our house for two days now, if I put him in the greenery he makes a bee-line for the masonary, he seems to be eating tiny bugs, I thought caterpillars were herbivores.
Why, when I have time off work, do I always come down with some bug? This time it's a horrible cold. I thought it was hayfever at first. Having never suffered with it I was beginning to appreciate why suffers are so miserable, runny nose, sore eyes, constant sneezing, raw throat, when I began to ache and shiver I realised that this wasn't an allergic reaction, just a bug.
How do I deal with this? I work on the community. I have scheduled clinics that women make appointments for, often weeks in advance. I teach antenatal classes. regular, planned, booked events. I make arrangements to visit newly pregnant women in their homes to book their care, swamp them with information and take blood, appointments also made in advance. So, I hear from colleagues who work on the unit that I have been allocated to work shifts 'inside'. No one has run it past me to make sure I havn't already made plans, particularly since I am on leave at the moment, so in reality wouldn't know until I return. As a community midwife you don't have to check the unit off-duty so, if they don't tell me, how should I know? The temptation is to just keep a low profile and act as if I know nothing. I hate things like this, b****r up the units staffing, or cancel 8 women at a clinic, 1 woman's booking and 8 couples antenatal classes.
Jack's Mummy has another scan on Tuesday. She is being fatalistic and is certain that, like last time, they will tell her that the baby is dead or there is something wrong. Life is very stressed at the moment.
Sunny days
Daughter had her scan today, and its good news, Baby (Poppy) is showing no ill-effects from the scare it gave us a few weeks ago. The ultrasonographer, and the images she showed, were so reassuring that daughter was positively bubbling, all the stress of the past few weeks disipated by one grainy black and white image. Poppy was having a ball in there, stretching out, jumping from one side to the other and waving arms around. In the previous pregnancy the baby was very still, prefering to stay curled up, so this fetal performance was very welcome.
The day didn't start off too well for them though as SIL phoned her to say that his diverticultis was giving him so much grief that he couldn't drive so she would have to go and pick him up from work before the scan. It always kicks in when he is stressed, and they have been really stressed recently, scan today and his hospital appointment due on wednesday when he will get the results from his endoscopy and scans and the plan of action from the medics. He has been warned that, if conservative measures don't work, then they will be discussing a bowel re-section.
I hate to say 'I told you so', but I did. Apparently there is going to be a march on Westminster by pro-breastfeeding lobbyists to change views on breastfeeding in public. What a s*****g waste of effort, march to improve the systems to assist with the establishment of breastfeeding, not whether or not people glare at women who are feeding in public.