In control?
Whats 20 inches long, is much admired, photographed ad infinitum, eagerly waited for and anticipated like nothing else? A baby. So when this baby comes home what happens? All anyone wants it to do is sleep, or if not sleep just lie quietly. Why would baby do this? When being grown it has been in a constant environment closely surrounded by the womb, fed constantly by the placenta, drinking fluid at will, rocked by Mums movements. If you were suddenly in what must seem a fairly hostile environment where the only way you got attention was to cry, what would you do. I would certainly let my feelings known. Now lets look at the other side. If you were someone who is used to doing virtually what you want as and when, how are you going to adapt to this? Will you try and control the situation? I suggest many will ( and do ), expecting this baby to immediately understand that by regulating its feeding you have its best interests at heart. So, what happens? Baby cries, and cries. Mum attempts to pacify, Dad attemps to pacify, baby continues to sob, she may even fall asleep, for half an hour. Then awake again. This time with renewed vigour, hungry. Mum consents to feed little one. Bliss. Baby only has a short feed, she's tired from all that crying. She falls asleep, only to wake again half an hour later, didn't take enough milk before 'cos she was so tired, also she's got tummy ache. All that screaming gave her wind and when she was fed she gulped quickly because she was desperate. Stuff and nonsense? Make up your own mind. My comment would be that in countries where babies are carried around in slings all day by Mum, and feed at will don't cry as often and 'colic' is unknown.
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(18.2.04 19:22) blimey - I can hardly wait - thanks for the advice (I think!) xx |
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(18.2.04 20:05) Nice blog. Great entry. I "wore" my babies all the time, nursed them for 2 to 3 years, picked them up when they cried, and rocked them all the time. It was not only great for them, but it was great for me too. My older kid has just moved away to attend college and my daughter is almost 15. Both are happy, healthy, loving kids. BTW: I had a home birth with my second child - with two lay midwives in attendance. It was a beautiful, sacred experience. PS: Congrats on becoming a grandmother! |
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(18.2.04 20:11) I thought feeding on demand was the thing to do these days. I really don't understand people who put themselves and their baby through that now. Like, the baby is really going to understand what's going on. Daft. |
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(18.2.04 20:14) PS - you forgot to mention when the mother started crying along with the baby! |
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(28.2.04 16:47) Routine works for some people, and demand feeding can destroy some mothers. I believe its about finding a balance between the two. Babies learn at a phenomenal rate and as pavlov found, routine can be comforting and reassuring for both mother and baby. |
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(4.3.04 09:57) I never saw demand feeding destroy any mother. Any mother who is destroyed by such an experience has other problems going on underneath - depression or unsupportive partner or family. Demand feeding keeps everyone happy. Why impose your routine on a newborn? Our routine is a symptom of the outside world and as such, is beyond the comprehension and world of a new born baby. It has no need to be ordered and controlled. It wants reassurance and warmth, touch and love. How is making a baby cry for half an hour because it's not time for it's feed 'reassuring'? It isn't. It raises hormones in both mother and child which leads to stress and colic in child. Now that's what destroys mothers. |
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(6.3.04 17:53) Lots of food for thought. The original muse was upon a newborn baby, things are easier to adapt as Mum and baby get more used to each other, and baby gets more used to the world. |