Devil's advocate?
BREASTfeeding. Now, if I wrote FINGERfeeding, or TONGUEfeeding, those six uppercase letters wouldn't, in most people, attract as much attention, even though all three words have sexual connections. Why? It may be because fingers and tongues are not, in western cultures, hidden. There again though, both sexes have these appendages, but only females have breasts capable of lactation, is this where the attraction lies? Or is it that womens breasts have become so associated with sexual function that their true purpose has now become the embarrassment? It's acceptable to have mammaries plastered all over the tabloids, or exposed safely when on holiday, or used to sell mechandise, but its hugely embarrassing to see them being used to feed a baby. How often, in soaps, dramas, films is breastfeeding portrayed positively and in a fashion that presents it as being totally normal? Not that often, infact hardly ever. Isn't that odd? 70% of women are breastfeeding when they are discharged from hospital so it would seem to be the norm. However, this figure drops dramatically once women are back in the 'real world' and I feel that much of that has to do with society's perception of breasts as being sexual. They can be both. Other parts of our anatomy are capable of dual roles, why not the old mammaries? I don't want to ban bottles or stop formula milk but please lets put all this into perspective and appreciate that the primary function of the breast is to feed an infant.
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(9.5.04 17:23) I wonder how much I will change when I become a mum, because reading this and the stuff at Minks' blog right now kind of leaves me non-plussed. I just don't seem to have an opinion on breastfeeding - or most other things pregnant ladies and new mums like to debate. All I know is that I am incredibly squeamish about my boobs. I don't like them being "interfered" with sexually or otherwise. I am keeping an open mind as to whether this will change when my baby comes out and is hungry. I'd like to give breastfeeding a go, because I know that it's the best thing possible for Baby E, but if it really, really makes me unhappy or the baby doesn't take to it I'm not going to beat myself with a shitty stick when I roll out the formula. As far as breastfeeding in public - absolutely no way for me, personally. This may be a tie and make life awkward if I do manage a spell of breast-fodder, but for me (absolutely personally) I'd be as likely to poo on the table as pop my boobs out in a public place (I am the woman who wears swimming costumes on the sunbed!) |
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(9.5.04 17:31) I've had a hard time with public breastfeeding too. I've breastfed Jake in the car (parked, not moving - that would be dangerous!), but so far, not in public view. Why? Well, I think that I would do it if it was easier. My problem right now is that I have to pull my shirt right up. I need to see what I'm doing. If I can see what I'm doing, so can everyone else! When Jake is older and he can seek out the breast on his own (meaning that I don't need to pull my shirt right up and expose everything), I may be more open to public breastfeeding. I want to be able to do it discretely and I just don't have that mastered yet. I don't mind people knowing that I'm breastfeeding, I just don't want them seeing my boobs! |
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(9.5.04 17:38) Nicola - I'm so glad I'm not alone!! |
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(9.5.04 17:44) I wasn't trying to encourage BF in public, just to make the concept of BF more acceptable in general and to make people think. I know what you mean about feeding in public, but really its all due to the fact that breasts are seen as primarily sexual objects. In total I spent over 2 years of my life breastfeeding but I never did it in public, cleavage and glimpses of skin OK, nipples, never! JoJo - if you have a birth plan note down your reservations about people touching your boobs, midwives have a nasty habit of just grabbing boobs when helping women to breastfeed. We are supposed to ask permission, sometimes we forget though. |
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(9.5.04 18:04) I'm just a shy sod when it comes to my bod! I used to cry before I got into communal showers at school - probably because I got teased all the time about how skinny I was and it's all a throwback to that. So breastfeeding in public is something that fills me with cold horror!! But if other people do it - it's their choice. If I said it didn't make me feel uncomfortable I'd be a liar - but it's my hang-up and certianly not theirs. I've got the funniest birth plan in the world (i.e. "I'm well up for a 6-hour turnaround if you'll let me") - and I hadn't even considered writing it until now, but I think "do not touch my breasts unless absolutely necessary" would fit in there perfectly - thanks for the tip!!!  )
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(9.5.04 18:25) As Jo will vouch- I was always quite happy to whip them out in public-it was even my drunken party trick I'm ashamed to admit. But I am strangely awkward about them at the moment. Maybe its because they don't look as aestheically pleasing as they did when I was a teen. I wish there was a way you could breastfeed in public without viewers having to watch a big brown nip wobbling around on a big fleshy, veiny boob. (I feel quite queasy myself now!) |
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(9.5.04 18:32) I'll vouch for that! You've never been self-conscious about your bod as far as I've seen and bloody good on you for it. It's something I've always admired about you - and will continue to do so. If I can stand the nip-in-baby-mouth thing, I'll the pale one lacking sun tan due to never being able to leave the house for more than ten mins while you will be sun-kissed and strap-line-less! Damn! |
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(9.5.04 18:48) Proving the point - 'not aesthetically pleasing',possibly not to some adults, but I'm sure Ezra thinks they are wonderful! |
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(9.5.04 21:41) A little too wonderful. I tried the orthodontic teats but he's still not having any of it. I am starting to think that I'll have to strap him to me until he's 10!! Jojo- please, please learn from my mistakes and at least get your baby used to a bottle so we can go out together!xx |
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(10.5.04 11:44) I'll put my thinking cap on and ask around. With one of mine though I never managed to get her to take a bottle of anything. |
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(10.5.04 21:24) It's funny but I think women, especially 'younger' women are more squeemish about the whole boob thing and BF in public than men. When feeding The Boy I found that the only people who ever asked me to move were women in their early 20s (one even offered the loo as a suitable feeding place - I kid you not). Men were more encouraging and accepting. I brought The Boy back home in a train full of football supporters once. He was screaming and a couple of men (in their 50s) said "why don't you feed the little lad - he sounds hungry", sensing I was not totally comfortable at getting the goods out in front of that many of them one of them pointedout that "that's what they are for so it shouldn't upset anybody" especially if it meant the baby would stop crying and the other that his wife had fed all of his kids so he had seen it all before. They were right. Nobody stared and we were all grateful when he went to sleep at the end of the feed. My best BF outside experience was asking in a pub if they had a quiet place to feed (expecting to be offered the toilet) and the barman opened a function room upstairs and brought me a glass of water(without having been asked) - how nice was that. |