Massacre
They're clever these men. They sit there apparently just watching c..p on the telly, but really they are absorbing ploys which may come in useful, not immediately, maybe not even within the next year, but at some point they will drag the stratagem out of the vaults and use it. Years ago I got eldest daughter to do the ironing for me. As a result of her efforts I lost one of my blouses to an over hot iron, I never asked her again. One year I encouraged son to mow the lawn, he scalped it, never again. Earlier this year Hubby tried mowing the lawn, he churned it up as he broke the mower in half. At the time I thought it was an unfortunate accident, now I'm not so sure. Whilst I was at work on Sunday hubby attacked the hedges, I was really pleased, initially, it's a horrid job which I was pleased he had taken on. When I had the chance to look at his handiwork I noticed that he had managed to flattened several plants and also ruin one of my honeysuckles, I remained quiet about the damage and thanked him profusely for his efforts. Then this evening I noticed something horrible, he had cut down my clematis, not randomly run through it with the hedge-trimmer, but precisely severed each stem with the secateurs. What people need to understand is that I love my garden. I nurture it. I look forward to each plant reaching it's full potential, and that's the point my clematis was about to reach. The buds were swollen, just waiting to burst into flower. Not anymore. Now they are just trailing through the cotaneaster, soon they will wilt, turn brown, and die. My reaction was instant. The neighbours now know that hubby is intellectually challenged, the road has been advised that he is a moron, the town is on the lookout for a barbarian. Hubby, well he acted as if he was contrite, as much as a man will ever admit that he is wrong, there is always an excuse, a logical answer which me "being a woman, and therefore lacking logic" will never manage to understand and, unfortunately, never manage to argue with any great success. I know why he did it though, the same reason daughter burnt my blouse, he knows, from watching previous reactions, that I will never, never let him loose in the garden again. Clever eh?
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(6.7.04 22:18) Ooer, glad I wasn't there! |
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(7.7.04 14:13) I have used the "do it seemingly gladly but badly enough that it does not look deliberate but still needs redoing" technique to my advantage for years. Sorry about the clematis, surely it will recover by next summer ? I am afraid the policy in our house is: if it can't survive bad pruning it does not deserve a place in the garden. |
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(7.7.04 14:56) I would have love to be a fly on the ..neighbours wall...heh heh |
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(7.7.04 18:30) Matilda - I'm surprised you didn't hear me! Stroppy - Hopefully it will survive, hubby is praying that it does otherwise he knows it will mean a visit to the garden centre. Morethanluck - You could have been several houses away and you still would have heard the fall-out. |