midwife's muse

Text book

Eldest daughter is 'with child'. Due to her total  irregularity, in all things, we only have a vague idea when baby will arrive but it's not for ages yet! Up until Tuesday she was well, then the hormones got to work and in one day she became tired by mid-afternoon, developed morning sickness, and went off tea and coffee. As a midwife I was delighted to hear of these positive signs, as her Mum I feel really sorry for her. On Monday I arranged her scan, discreetly, today my manager asked me how she is. 'How did you find out?' I enquired, apparently the Head of Midwifery told her. Brilliant, now I'm going to have her on my case. Daughter hasn't expressed a desire to have me involved, on the one hand I'm pleased, as I won't have the traumas of last time, on the other I feel quite sad. Having been so involved with Jack's incubation and delivery it feels like part of my Grandmotherhood rite and I just hope I don't feel less 'connected' to baby when s/he arrives. We are still in what I consider to be that 'grey' period. One half of you is looking forward to a new baby, the other half is urging caution, there is still a long way to go. I feel that I was quite lucky when I was having babies. You didn't know you were pregnant until about 10 weeks so you were never quite sure if you had been pregnant or just 'late'. There wasn't a feeling of loss, just disappointment, or relief, that you weren't having a baby. I also didn't have to make decisions about screening for abnormalities, I didn't even have any scans, but I really don't believe that I was any more concerned about baby, especially at the end of pregnancy, than women are now-a-days. There may have been huge developments in techniques but sometimes I wonder if they may cause more stress, particularly in early pregnancy when so many decisions, based upon probabilities, have to be made. Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and eagerly anticipating searching for a tandem pushchair on E-Bay!

11.9.04 02:05