midwife's muse

On the edge

I was late going to bed last night, 1.30am, and when I came to turn off my computer I did what I always do, log on to 20six and see if anyone I follow has blogged or if any comments I've made have been answered. As I sat here reading the comments I became aware of a tapping, I hadn't noticed it immediately cos it was very quiet, it wasn't continuous, sounded like when you knock on a window to attract attention. My computer is by a window, I looked but nothing/no one there. I admit it, I was feeling very slight spooked, not hugely but enough to make me uncomfortable. Then I realised where it was coming from, one of my speakers. Suddenly I had images of 'Poltergeist', when JulieAnn has been spirited into the TV, and I knew what the sound was, it was tapping on a screen. I immediatley exited everything and pressed shut down, and it took for ever. I felt really irrational, perhaps it wouldn't shut down, adrenaline was surging and I was really tempted to run out, but I was brave, and it did shut down. I am so pathetic that I ran up the stairs.

Back to everyday life where I'm not spooked by silly things. Having not missed a breech for 8 years, and then missing one two weeks ago, I missed another one last week. This one wasn't discovered until the woman had been labouring in hospital for 7 hours, and then they scanned her as they wern't sure how baby was lying. Apparently even then they had problems finding the head as it was tucked round the side, poor thing had to have a CS. It has made me very cautious now at clinic, I'm questioning every palpation, I wish I had an ultrasound built into my hands.

Jack's Daddy has had a really bad stomach for three weeks now. It flared up when daughter was having her threatened miscarriages so, I have to admit, he didn't get too much sympathy. He has had digestive probs for a couple of years now, has had loads of tests, and is a walking medicine receptacle, nothing ever found. This time though he has been in pain ++. Went to G.P x 2, given antibiotics, called out on-call doc, given anti-spasmodics, went to A&E, told he was constipated, (no examination, nothing) even though he had terrible diahorrea. Yesterday it came to a head, sweating, doubled over, passing blood, daughter took him back to A&E. They have kept him in, on a drip, not happy with blood results, X-Ray, or endoscopy, they are scanning him today. Daughter is being very positive, SIL is doped up to the eyeballs, I'm trying to limit my mental predictions. Very, very worrying. Hence me not going to bed until early hours. Hopefully should have more infomation this afternoon, Jack is coming to play with Nanny whilst Mummy and Daddy chat to the Docs.

7.2.06 12:16