midwife's muse

I surrender

I have failed to talk about the new plans for maternity care as they seem to be such a contentious issue, and I'm really not sure why. Basically old Patsy Hewitt, really can't stand the woman, I shout at the telly whenever she comes on, slam down the newspaper in disgust whenever her name is mentioned and generally steel myself to be subjected to yet another plan or target if I catch a glimpse of her condescending features, is only dragging out a revamped form of Changing Childbirth and the Winterton Report from back in the early 90's (can't find a link). I know my memory is sometimes a trifle erratic but I can't remember there being such a furore and public outcry back then, why now? Perhaps I'm being oversensitive but it strikes me that the favourite occupation to slate at the moment is Midwifery. Midwives seem to be portrayed in the media as harridans, zealots, deliberately negligent, lazy and any other derogatory term that springs to the authors, or interviewees mind. I wasn't surprised when my little 'love to hate' Doc went off on one of his tirades against 'madwives', I would have been disappointed if he hadn't picked up the baton and run with it, but he wasn't the only one and what has really made me put fingers to keyboard was this article. I think it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

I know I'm generally down at the moment. So much has happened over the last few months that my usual fighting reserves are quite depleted and I have taken to lying low rather than sticking my head above the parapet. I am really unhappy in my new post, I suspect that if I were feeling more robust I would probably be a happier bunny and ready to take on the challenge, but at the moment it all seems like just too much. What do I want to do? What I really want to do is just leave, give up, say 'sod the lot of you'. At the moment my love of my job has entirely deserted me and I have to say that reading and hearing that much of the population considers that the job I do is fairly poor, that I obviously don't have women's best interests at heart 'It is the next stage in a midwife-led campaign to limit the choice available to women giving birth.'* and that the way my personal life is frequently put on hold is not recognised 'We know it, because we know about NHS rotas and staff attitudes and the way the patients are made to fit around them.' does nothing to make me feel I should do anything other than the absolute basics required of me. I would love to be able to fulfill Ms Miles plea 'Please, let us have fewer of them (midwives), not more'. Regrettably circumstances dictate that I shall carry on being a Midwife but I do have to say that I feel that this Midwife has found Ms Miles article to be one of the biggest insults I have felt and as a result a huge disincentive to to give anymore of myself than I need.

8.4.07 23:08